Archive: Please ask first
Category: Drama, Deathfic
Summary: Thoughts on the way back to Atlantis from the Space Platform.
Spoilers: The Siege – Part One
Sequel/Season: Season One
Authors Note: I don't own them, Gecko and Scifi does. I'm just borrowing them for while and promise to give them back when I'm done, though I might just keep Rodney for little longer ;-)
Thanks to maching_monkey for the beta.
See You Soon
Doctor Rodney McKay sat in the copilot seat, staring blankly out the view screen.
Peter Grodin was gone.
He still couldn't wrap his mind around it. They were just talking to him. He couldn't be…. He couldn't be….dead.
"Doctor McKay, are you alright?" Miller's voice broke through his reverie and he blinked and looked over at the other man.
"Yeah," Rodney said, shoving himself back from the seat. "I'm…I'm going to go make sure I locked the EVA suit down."
Miller nodded and focused back on piloting the Jumper as fast as it would go back toward Atlantis.
Rodney stumbled back into the back of the Jumper and fussed around with the suit for a few minutes. He closed his eyes, tears burning hotly behind the lids. He shot a quick glance back toward Miller and then ducked into the head, pulling the door shut behind him.
Normally, he hated the head. It was small, cramped, and claustrophobic. Right now, he needed the small amount of privacy it provided. He sank down on the toilet and a sob stuck in his throat. He covered his hands with his face and let them come. He cried for his friend, for the other friends he had already lost. Gaul, Abrams, Damay, Hayes, Wagner, Markham….
He cried until there wasn't anything else left to come. He leaned his hot face up against the cool bulkhead. The hollow feeling inside him eating at his heart.
Peter was dead. He tried to think of ways he could have prevented it. He could have stayed inside the platform and made Peter go EVA, but Peter wouldn't have know everything that needed to be done. It would have just gotten both of them killed and the power wouldn't have gotten rerouted in time to destroy the first Hive ship. They could have brought along another suit and left it with him, but--- What if—what if—what if—wasn't going to fix anything. Peter was dead. He had bought them some more time. Maybe that was all any of them could hope for. Buy more time so more of them could escape through the Stargate to at least some measure of safety, at least for a little while.
Rodney sighed, closing his eyes. He got up, his back protesting loudly at the movement. He bit back a groan and shifted to wash his face in the tiny sink. He took a couple of moments to settle himself. He shook his head. He should have known better than to think they would have a happy ending. If he believed in curses, he'd believe this stretch of space was cursed. They had flow out here twice now. Great hopes heading out, great failure coming back.
Rodney pushed open the door and limped back toward the cockpit. "How are we doing?" he asked Miller.
"The Wraith don't seem to have noticed us and we're making good time back." Miller glanced over at Rodney as he sat gingerly back into the copilot seat. "Are you okay?"
Rodney frowned a little.
"Your back, sir. You look stiff," Miller said, lightly, but the look in his eyes was worried.
"I'm okay," Rodney said, leaning his head back, crossing his arms tightly across his chest. "You alright for a while?"
Miller nodded and Rodney closed his eyes, his thoughts drifting to Peter Grodin again. See you soon, my friend, he thought.