mikasteelelell (oxbastetxo) wrote in sga_smarmgate,

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Fic: The Dark

Title: The Dark
Author: OXBastetXO
Rating: G
Archive: Please ask first
Status: complete
Category: Humor
Summary: The dark, the snark and oogling.
Spoilers: none
Sequel/Season: Season One
Authors Note: I don't own them, Gecko and Scifi does. I'm just borrowing them for while and promise to give them back when I'm done, though I might just keep Rodney for little longer ;-)

This is Gaffer's fault. :-D That's all I'm saying!

The Dark

"It's dark."

"No, really? And just how did you come upon this astounding discovery?"

"Geez, can you give it a rest? It's not my fault we're stuck in here."

"Oh, really? And just whom was oogling the chief's daughter?"

"I was not oogling her and just what kind of word is oogle?"

"Oogle: to make eyes at a member of the opposite sex in a lustful or suggestive way."

"You made that up."

"I did not. Well, yes, I did, but that still doesn't change the meaning of the word."

"I'm still not sure it's a real word."

"Would you give it a rest?"

"I thought I was the one that just said that and quit huffing at me."

"I'm not huffing. I'm sighing in frustration. There's a difference."


"Huffing is done with a quick exhalation of breath. Sighing is much more drawn out exhibiting just the extent of how frustrating this is."


"Well, you're the one that asked."

"Well, I'm sorry that I did now."

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for something."


"I had one of those chemical reaction light sticks in my pocket."

"Why didn't you get it out three hours ago when they first locked us in here?"

"Because I just now remembered I had it. You're huffing again. Ah, there it is...oh."

"What did you do?"

"I dropped it."

"Why can't I see it?"

"There's a hole in the floor. Big hole. Deep hole."

"Shouldn't we hear it hit the bottom?"

"Yeah, when it gets there, I guess."

"I'm still not hearing it."

"You might if you would just shut up!"

"There. Oh--"


"Very deep. Calculating on how long it took to hit the bottom from the time you dropped it, it would be--"

"Two hundred feet, give or take."

"How do you do that?"


"What was that?"

"Sounds like rats."

"Wonderful! Just wonderful! We're stuck in a hole on another planet by native angry at us for you oogling the chief's daughter and now we've got weird alien rats that are going to clew our faces off in our sleep!"

"Would you just calm down? Ford and Teyla will get us out before then."

"If they aren't locked up in another hole already having their faces chewed off!"

"Don't get your panties in a wad. We'll find a way out of here. And for the last time, it's not my fault! You're the one who ran your mouth and ticked off the chief."

"I did not run my mouth off. I do not run my mouth off."

"Right, let's see, you told the Genii you could build them an atomic bomb, you told Koyla the plan to save the city--"

"Hey, that's not fair! He was torturing me! Did you see the size of the knives they carry. He had that one stuck in my arm at the time, hello!"

"Okay, sorry, bad example."

"No kidding!"

"You're huffing again."

"Yes, I'm huffing! I'm irritated at you!"

"We'll get out of here."


"We will."



"Teyla! Where are you? I can hear you, but can't see you."

"We are below you. There is a ledge below the hollow you and Doctor McKay are in. There is a passage out of here that leads directly to the Stargate."

"Huh, I guess it wasn't rats."


"Shut up and follow her voice. See, I told you we were getting out of here."

"I know. I just react to stressful situations--"

"In a particular way. I know."


"No problem. Let's just go home."

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