mikasteelelell (oxbastetxo) wrote in sga_smarmgate,

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Fic: Semantics

Title: Semantics
Author: OXBastetXO
Rating: G
Archive: Please ask first
Status: complete
Category: Humor
Summary: In linguistics, you're taught that it's never JUST semantics
Spoilers: none
Sequel/Season: Season One
Authors Note: I don't own them, Gecko and Scifi does. I'm just borrowing them for while and promise to give them back when I'm done, though I might just keep Rodney for little longer ;-)

"You've gone bloody balmy!" Doctor Carson Beckett declared throwing his hands up in consternation.

"See," Doctor Rodney McKay said, gesturing to the Scot physician. "Case in point."

Lieutenant Aiden Ford and Major John Sheppard both exchanged a confused look.

"Carson just said we've all gone crazy," Doctor Peter Grodin explained in amusement.

"I got that," Sheppard said testily. "You know for five people who supposedly speak the same language I'm starting to wonder if we need a translator."

"If American English can even be classified as English," McKay said snort. "At least Canadian English still knows how to spell 'center' and 'color' correctly."

Ford looked at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Center: C E N T R E," McKay spelled out. "Color: C O L O U R."

"You mean it's supposed to be spelled that way?" the younger man said with a confused look.

"What did you think?"

"They were typos?"

McKay rolled his eye dramatically. "Please!"

"These are just all colloquial differences," Grodin pointed out.

"Yes, but the last letter in the alphabet is pronounced 'zed', not," McKay screwed his face up, "'zee'."

"Well, yes," the English man amended.

"My point," McKay said.

Sheppard pinched the bridge of his nose. "And this has do to with...what?"

"Not a bloody thing," Grodin said with a grin.

Sheppard chuckled. "Now you want to get on to something that's may be English, but has absolutely nothing to do with the language, try talking to a woman."

The five men started laugh.

"No kidding!" Ford said. "You're dead when you ask her what's wrong and she says, 'nothing'."

"Or worse," McKay interjected. "The dreaded, 'never mind'."

"You're totally sunk when you get 'forget about it'."

Just then, Doctor Elizabeth Weir and Teyla walked into the Command Center. The men quickly stifled their laughter and the woman gave them curious looks.

"What's so funny?" Weir asked.

"Just a little discussion on differences in the English language among various English speaking people," McKay rattled off.

Ford mumbled something to Sheppard and the man struggled not to laugh. Weir's eyes narrowed at them an irritated look crossing her face for a moment.

"What?" Sheppard asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

McKay eyes narrowed a bit at her. "Is something wrong, Elizabeth?"

She looked directly at him. "Never mind."

The men glanced around at each other, Grodin and Beckett inching at toward the doorway.

"Doctor Weir?" Sheppard asked again.

"Major, forget about it," she snapped a little.

Ford and McKay glanced at each other. "Um, Major, I had this device I needed you to use your magic gene to turn on for me," McKay said, moving quickly toward the exit.

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that," Sheppard said, hurrying to follow him. Ford fell into step right behind him.

Weir watched the men quickly retreat and then she glanced at Teyla and they burst out laughing.

"See!" Weir gasped, struggling to get her breath. "What did I tell you?"

Teyla wiped tears from her eyes. "It does not matter where men come from, they are all the same."
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